About

I guess in some ways I’m an “average” person living in the United States. I’m married, have 3 kids, and have suffered from “I Want It Now” disease for many years. I live in a society of instant gratification (or at least one that was that way until the recent economic downturn) and I indulged myself almost daily. That’s how I accumulated $300,000 in debt.

Money used to practically fly out of my pocket. I remember times where I would put $200 in my wallet, then have a hard time scraping together $3 a few days later to pay for a school trip for one of my kids and wondering where all that money went. I was great at “frittering it away” (one of my Mom’s favorite phrases) and not knowing what I had spent it on.

A few years ago my husband and I were staring bankruptcy in the face and it wasn’t because of a catastrophic event such as huge medical bills. It was a combination of smaller things: stupidly co-signing on student loans we never thought our child would default on; having to buy 2 vehicles in the span of 6 months and not having any money saved; me qutting my job to take care of my seriously ill mother; but mostly overspending, under-saving, and generally doing a crappy job of managing money.

And just to be completely fair to my husband he wasn’t the one who went out and spent money we didn’t have. He’s the frugal one in our house (sometimes so overly frugal it drives me nuts). He says his contribution to our financial problem was that he was a “spending enabler,” meaning even though he wasn’t the one overspending he felt he didn’t speak up often enough or strongly enough about my habit of charging pretty much anything and everything I wanted and never sticking to a budget. Sure we had arguments about money – lots and lots of them – but it never changed much. I kept spending and he kept trying to “plug the holes” to keep the bills paid as best he could.

Then:

- one of our children defaulted on those co-signed student loans

- another child who was still in college needed a different vehicle and had no way of purchasing one

- the third child ran into financial problems and needed a sizable loan

- my husband’s work vehicle decided it was time to retire itself and quit running

- a home business we started failed and left us with lots of bills to pay

This all happened in less than 12 months and within 6 months of when I officially quit my job so I could take care of my Mom. Plus I was still spending money like it was going to disintegrate in my hands like a “Mission Impossible” note if I didn’t spend it as quickly as possible. In 1 year’s time we accumulated a lot of debt we didn’t expect plus had a sizable decrease in income.

Suddenly we were in very real danger of losing everything we had.

That was 2 1/2 years ago. Now our debt is almost half what it used to be; we never use credit cards anymore and have $0 credit card debt; we have $0 vehicle loan payments; vacations have been put on temporary hold; and we have a “no frills” budget we stick to.

We have 2 loans – our mortgage and a home equity loan. We are working on paying off our home equity loan in 2009 and we are doing it in a very focused way. Every penny we can throw at it we do. We started 2009 with a plan to pay off the $45,000 we still owed on it and are on track to have it paid off by December 2009; but only if we stay focused on paying it off and don’t spend any money on things we don’t need.

I’m a former “spendthrift” who has learned the error of her habit of living “well above her means” and is changing it by working hard and learning that there’s a lot of things I thought I needed that I really don’t. Yes, there’s still a lot of “stuff” I would love to have in my possession but having that “stuff” will no longer come at the expense of financial stability in my house.

Why am I telling you all this? It’s certainly not because I love admitting how stupid I was about money. It’s hard to admit how much dumb stuff I did (and embarrassing). It’s because I want other people to know it’s never to late to start being fiscally responsible and that there are ways to get out from under debt without winning the lottery, going online to beg other people for money to pay it, and without thinking bankruptcy is the only solution.

It does require hard work, sacrifice, focused intensity, and strong determination. If you have gotten yourself into trouble with money like I did, working on getting yourself out may be the hardest thing you ever do. I know it’s taking every ounce of resolve I have but I’m determined to not give up no matter how many “curve balls” I get thrown along the way.